You are miserable and scared.
 You want a divorce and nothing is going right. 

Your confusion ends here with preparation, information and planning.
 
 Control the divorce or it controls you.  Information is key. Planning is critical.


Maybe there is a narcissist involved or your attorney isn't helpful. 

Here's what most people don't understand: you need to plan. You need to do this behind the scenes and do it quietly if you have a difficult divorce.

The legal system or the revenge needs of a spouse or the inability of an attorney to comprehend the subtle psychlogical tricks a spouse can play can be very harmful.

 Plan. Learn. Educate Yourself. Learn Why The Courts Do What They Do.

Even if you are in the middle of a divorce you can still stop and think about what you are doing and learn more and plan strategy and tactics.

You planned the wedding; the divorce needs more, much more planning. Who thinks about divorce planners?  Probably not you.  Maybe you don't need a planner, but you do need planning.

If the divorce is difficult you need to understand why the courts make bad decisions, why your attorney isn't so helpful and what to do about support issues.

Do you know what to do if your attorney threatens to quit the night before a trial?


 Here are some clues of a difficult divorce:

  • Your attorney isn't helpful; you distrust him
  • Custody is an issue
  • Toxic spouse: narcissistic or sociopath
  • Your spouse controls the money
  • Emotonal abuse
Hello friend,

I used to be in a miserable divorce. Now I counsel clients going through a divorce.  But this page isn't about hiring me. It's about helping you without the cost of a divorce planner. Keep reading because there are some great resources here. They are only good if you use them. Action is the antidote to depression.


You want out of the misery.

You are sleeping in the guest room, or your partner is.  You think he's hiding money or you think she's having an affair. Every conversation turns into a fight. You wake up in misery and go to sleep in misery. The rest of your life looks dismal. She gains weight and he starts drinking.

If you are like most couples, at this point you are about to make some marriage and family therapist some money. She'll listen to the same story she's heard a thousand times and she knows she's just a pit stop on the way to divorce court.

I'm not going to tell you not to see the therapist - go ahead and try. But if the writing is on the wall, I am going to tell you to start reading what it says.

Most women initiate the counseling sessions. Hope springs eternal and women seem to think "Oh, if we could only talk about this, everything will be ok." It is this same unrealistic, fairy tale optimism that ends up making them very, very miserable in divorce court.

What has happened over the last decade in divorce is less than ethical. In fact, it is downright disgusting. Power and control and manipulation are the keywords. Lives are ruined.

If you think, "It couldn't happen to me," you are already at risk. If you think, "How bad could things be?" you are asleep and a nightmare is about to hit you. Here's an example of how bad it can get:

Today I listened to some attorneys discussing dirty divorce tricks. Here's one: slowly putting drugs in your spouse's food so a hair follicle test will test positive. Presto chango, the victim loses everything. Can't happen? Just keep on thinking that and you might be the next victim. Your naivete can and will hurt you. Maybe it won't be drugs in your food, but it could be slowly moving funds out of the joint accounts in order to financially marginalize a spouse and then file for divorce knowing she can't hire an attorney. It's witching hour: do you know where your money is? Did it just zip off through the electrons to an offshore account?

One of my clients just found out her husband has been communicating their entire marriage (ten years) with a girlfriend from 25 years ago. Guess which one has the expensive pit bull attorney and which one is running scared?

Today, both women AND men are being told to make false domestic violence claims. Forget the fact it is illegal, this is morally reprehensible. The one convicted loses custody and money and the lawyers know it.

Why has the face of divorce changed? Many reasons and they don't all matter - but this one does: the word is out: there is money, big, big, money to be made in the divorce field. Since the cap on personal injury awards many personal injury attorneys have been switching to family law. The hourly rate of a divorce attorney is about twice that of most civil attorneys.

If you want out of a bad marriage, you deserve out. But not so that it means you lose everything and spend thousands doing so. Women - remember this: you will have a harder time getting an attorney than your spouse does. Most attorneys know that most women don't control the family finances. That's a red flag which means they will have to motion the court for attorney fees with no guarantee they'll get it. This is the type of information you need to know to begin planning your divorce.

Planning, information and goal setting are the miracle three that will help you survive a divorce in today's dog eat dog world of divorce.

Men have it a bit easier - but not always. They have to know what a revengeful spouse might do if caught in an affair or what a bitter female lawyer or judge might do to them.

The ONLY way to stop a train wreck of a divorce is to not engage in one. But if the other side plays dirty, the playing field isn't level. Why should you lose the kids because he puts drugs in your food? Why should you lose the right to see your kids because she made a phony call to the police? DON'T DO THESE THINGS. Take control of the divorce and play fair. The only way to take control is through information - if you don't know what is possible, you don't know what can happen.

To learn more, much more, about how to plan and prepare for a divorce in today's world, and to see what kind of information your spouse is getting to win the divorce war, LEARN WHAT OTHERS KNOW AND WANT TO TEACH YOU SO YOU DON'T SUFFER NEEDLESSLY.

ARE YOU DIVORCING A NARCISSIST?

If you are divorcing someone with a personality disorder such as narcissism, or fighting for custody, or dealing with someone hiding assets, you need excellent legal help - someone not afraid of doing real discovery, refusing to be on the defensive and someone not afraid of the judge.  

KEEP CALM.  Emotions are deadly in divorce. Control your emotions no matter how bad things get.


He (or she) Really Is Out To Get You. The narcissist will try to use the legal system to attack you.  Money will be no object as you become the target.  Lies, blame shifting and manipulation will be second nature.

I have put togther a collection of resources for you on this site. This is information I wish I knew before I began my divorce with a narcissistic spouse and the hugely unethcal attorney in the case.


Breaking up with a narcissist is extremely hard to do. Find out more

CLICK HERE

KNOW YOUR ENEMY

If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there. But learn the lay of the land and you just might land on your feet instead of being instant roadkill on the divorce highway.

ON SALE NOW! Limited time...only $14.95 until July 1  -  Go behind the scenes as a California divorce is analyzed - see how the lawyers control the case.  New edition coming out..get this one at the remarkable price of $14.95!

Go behind the scenes in this ebook on divorce which is a guidebook and a story and how to plan for a difficult divorce:  Divorcing A Narcissist: The Book


"This  book is a blessing. Organized, thoughtful and full of pain and
 how to deal with it, I salute you for telling us your story and
analyzing the "divorce industry" as you call it. You have saved
my daughter thousands, she learned what to say in court, and
best of all she got custody." M.W.

Getting a divorce is like a game of chess.  If you know the game better than your opponent and are prepared to think ahead, you will probably win.

Divorce is complex and expensive.  Attorneys are alienating clients and charging ever increasing amounts of money.   Custody has become a battleground.  Difficult spouses make divorce even more difficult.

Men and Women: Different as Always

Men. Lawyers love you because they think you have more money than women and know you can be easily be egged on to keep the case going. "You're not going to let her get away with that, are you?" is a question that energizes your anger and depletes your bank balance. Watch out. Your anger and need for revenge can be very expensive and the attorney knows it.


Women You probably trust people and your attorney knows this. He knows that what he tells you will be believed by you and he knows that can be money in his pocket. He knows if you don't have very much money he may not fight as hard for you as you need to get all that is yours by law because you don't have the money for it.  He knows you probably want custody and may not tell you about the 50-50 default custody taking place in many areas. You may think seeing a therapist is a good idea until you realize what it really means. And no one will tell you until too late.


 AFFORDABLE  DIVORCE No one can promise you this, but in today's economy you had better be prepared or you may not be able to afford to get divorced at all.  I can promise you this: Your divorce will definitely cost you more if you do not prepare, if you do not learn.


This is the POWER of Information: A cost effective, fast divorce.

WHEN IN DOUBT, THINK IT OUT

Never have you needed a rational, calm mind more than now. Just when it is most difficult, you need to develop calmness.

The people who get out without losing their money and minds are those who take the time to read and research.

There is a wealth of information and tips and strategy available for you. Use it!

The more you know, the better the divorce. The average client goes through several attorneys, each with a new retainer, and loses more money in one year than in any other time of their life.  Prepare so this doesn't happen to you.

If you know how to play the game, your divorce will be sane and inexpensive. Here  are 10 mistakes you need to know about.  This is part of smart planning - learning from the mistakes of others.  You will survive and thrive if you plan.  see
  MISTAKES YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE


...INTRODUCING...

CUSTODY ISSUES. The Biggest Headache

In this no holds barred ebook, you will find strategies and techniques you can begin using right now.

  • Attorney information
  • Custody Evaluators how to strategize effectively
  • What the courts look for to maximize the quality of your divorce planning
  • Single biggest mistake parents make to bring you the maximum amount of relevant and targeted leads
  • 14 Key Behaviors between parents who do well and those that don't
  • How to make sure your child is not bribed to turn against you ensure that you are being treated fairly
  • Create a well-structured and thought out custody plan right from the start
.And that's just for starters! Here it is.....all you need to know, all you must know about custody. Click Here!

..For Men, For Women

Because you each need your own information

 Strategy for Men

You need information tailored for your needs. Because you are often targeted as a cash cow, learn how not to get sucked into the vortex of a greedy attorney who knows how to empty your wallet.  Divorce lawyers love representing men because you have the money.  READ THIS TO FIND OUT HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF Click Here!


Strategy for Women

This may be all new territory for you. Make sure your real needs are not overlooked. A sad but true fact is that divorce attorneys often do as little as possible for women. Sometimes they don't like to listen to you, they don't hear all you have to say. Please, find out how not to be a doormat and present yourself so you will be listened to. Click here!


ARE YOU DIVORCING A NARCISSIST?

If you are divorcing someone with a personality disorder such as narcissism, or fighting for custody, or dealing with someone hiding assets, you need excellent  legal help - someone not afraid of doing real discovery, refusing to be on the defensive and someone not afraid of the judge.  
And most important, keep calm. Emotions are deadly in divorce. You must learn to control your emotions no matter how bad things get.

The narcissist will try to use the legal system to attack you. . go behind the scenes in this ebook:


If you want a book on divorce which is a guidebook and a story and how to plan for a difficult divorce:  Divorcing A Narcissist: The Book

"This  book is a blessing. Organized, thoughtful and full of pain and how to deal with it, I salute you for telling us your story and analyzing the "divorce industry" as you call it. You have saved my daughter thousands, she learned what to say in court, and best of all she got custody."

Want more information? YES - always answer YES!.  In a divorce you can't ever have too much information. MORE

 


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