Maybe
there is a narcissist involved or your attorney isn't helpful.
Here's what most people don't understand: you need to plan. You need to
do this behind the scenes and do it quietly if you have a difficult
divorce.
The
legal system or the revenge needs of a spouse or the inability of an
attorney to comprehend the subtle psychlogical tricks a spouse can play
can be very harmful.
Plan.
Learn. Educate Yourself. Learn Why The Courts Do What They Do.
Even if you are in the
middle of a divorce you can still stop and think about what you are
doing and learn more and plan strategy and tactics.
You planned the wedding;
the divorce needs more,
much
more planning. Who thinks about divorce planners? Probably not
you. Maybe you don't need a planner, but you do need planning.
If the divorce is difficult you need to understand why the courts make
bad decisions, why your attorney isn't so helpful and what to do about
support issues.
Do you know what to do if your attorney threatens to quit the night
before a trial?
Here are some clues of a difficult divorce:
- Your attorney isn't
helpful; you distrust him
- Custody is an issue
- Toxic spouse:
narcissistic or sociopath
- Your spouse controls
the money
- Emotonal abuse
Hello friend,
I used to be in a miserable divorce. Now I counsel clients going
through a divorce. But this page isn't about hiring me. It's
about helping you without the cost of a divorce planner. Keep reading
because there are some great resources here. They are only good if you
use them. Action is the antidote to depression.
You want out of the
misery.
You are sleeping in the guest room, or your
partner is. You think he's hiding money or you think she's having
an affair. Every conversation turns into a fight. You wake up in misery
and go to sleep in misery. The rest of your life looks dismal. She
gains weight and he starts drinking.
If you are like most couples, at this point you are about to make some
marriage and family therapist some money. She'll listen to the same
story she's heard a thousand times and she knows she's just a pit stop
on the way to divorce court.
I'm not going to tell you not to see the therapist - go ahead and try.
But if the writing is on the wall, I am going to tell you to start
reading what it says.
Most women initiate the counseling sessions. Hope springs eternal and
women seem to think "Oh, if we could only talk about this, everything
will be ok." It is this same unrealistic, fairy tale optimism that ends
up making them very, very miserable in divorce court.
What has happened over the last decade in divorce is less than ethical.
In fact, it is downright disgusting. Power and control and manipulation
are the keywords. Lives are ruined.
If you think, "It couldn't happen to me," you are already at risk. If
you think, "How bad could things be?" you are asleep and a nightmare is
about to hit you. Here's an example of how bad it can get:
Today I listened to some attorneys discussing dirty divorce tricks.
Here's one: slowly putting drugs in your spouse's food so a hair
follicle test will test positive. Presto chango, the victim loses
everything. Can't happen? Just keep on thinking that and you might be
the next victim. Your naivete can and will hurt you. Maybe it won't be
drugs in your food, but it could be slowly moving funds out of the
joint accounts in order to financially marginalize a spouse and then
file for divorce knowing she can't hire an attorney. It's witching
hour: do you know where your money is? Did it just zip off through the
electrons to an offshore account?
One of my clients just found out her husband has been communicating
their entire marriage (ten years) with a girlfriend from 25 years ago.
Guess which one has the expensive pit bull attorney and which one is
running scared?
Today, both women AND men are being told to make false domestic
violence claims. Forget the fact it is illegal, this is morally
reprehensible. The one convicted loses custody and money and the
lawyers know it.
Why has the face of divorce changed? Many reasons and they don't all
matter - but this one does: the word is out: there is money, big, big,
money to be made in the divorce field. Since the cap on personal injury
awards many personal injury attorneys have been switching to family
law. The hourly rate of a divorce attorney is about twice that of most
civil attorneys.
If you want out of a bad marriage, you deserve out. But not so that it
means you lose everything and spend thousands doing so. Women -
remember this: you will have a harder time getting an attorney than
your spouse does. Most attorneys know that most women don't control the
family finances. That's a red flag which means they will have to motion
the court for attorney fees with no guarantee they'll get it. This is
the type of information you need to know to begin planning your divorce.
Planning, information and goal setting are the miracle three that will
help you survive a divorce in today's dog eat dog world of divorce.
Men have it a bit easier - but not always. They have to know what a
revengeful spouse might do if caught in an affair or what a bitter
female lawyer or judge might do to them.
The ONLY way to stop a train wreck of a divorce is to not engage in
one. But if the other side plays dirty, the playing field isn't level.
Why should you lose the kids because he puts drugs in your food? Why
should you lose the right to see your kids because she made a phony
call to the police? DON'T DO THESE THINGS. Take control of the divorce
and play fair. The only way to take control is through information - if
you don't know what is possible, you don't know what can happen.
To learn more, much more, about how to plan and prepare for a divorce
in today's world, and to see what kind of information your spouse is
getting to win the divorce war, LEARN WHAT OTHERS
KNOW AND WANT TO TEACH YOU SO YOU DON'T SUFFER NEEDLESSLY.
ARE
YOU DIVORCING A NARCISSIST?
If you are divorcing someone with a personality disorder such as
narcissism, or fighting for custody, or dealing with someone hiding
assets, you need excellent legal help - someone not afraid of
doing real discovery, refusing to be on the defensive and someone not
afraid of the judge.
KEEP
CALM.
Emotions are
deadly in divorce. Control your emotions no matter how bad
things get.
He (or she) Really Is Out
To Get You. The narcissist will try to use the legal system to
attack you. Money
will be no object as you become the target. Lies, blame shifting
and
manipulation will be second nature.
I have put togther a collection of
resources for you on this site. This is information I wish I knew
before I began my divorce with a narcissistic spouse and the hugely
unethcal attorney in the case.
Breaking up with a narcissist is extremely
hard
to do. Find out more
KNOW
YOUR ENEMY
If you don't know where you are going, any
road will take you there. But learn the lay of the land and you just
might land on your feet instead of being instant roadkill on the
divorce highway.
ON SALE NOW! Limited
time...only $14.95 until July 1 - Go behind the scenes as a
California divorce is analyzed - see how the lawyers control the
case. New edition coming out..get this one at the remarkable
price of $14.95!
Go
behind the scenes in this ebook on divorce which is a guidebook and a
story and how
to plan for a difficult divorce: Divorcing A
Narcissist: The Book
"This book is
a blessing. Organized,
thoughtful and full of pain and
how to deal with it, I salute you for
telling us your story and
analyzing the "divorce industry" as you call
it. You have saved
my daughter thousands, she learned what to say in
court, and
best of all she got custody." M.W.
Getting a divorce is
like a game of chess. If you
know the game better than your opponent and are prepared to think
ahead, you will probably win.
Divorce is complex and
expensive. Attorneys
are alienating clients and charging ever increasing amounts of
money. Custody has become a battleground. Difficult
spouses make divorce even more difficult.
Men and Women:
Different as Always
Men.
Lawyers love you because they think you have more money than women and
know you can be easily be egged on to keep the case going. "You're not
going to let her get away with that,
are you?" is a question that energizes your anger
and depletes your bank balance. Watch out. Your anger and need for
revenge can be very expensive and the attorney knows it.
Women You probably trust people and your attorney knows
this. He knows that what he tells you will be believed by you and he
knows that can be money in his pocket. He knows if you don't have very
much money he may not fight as hard for you as you need to get all that
is yours by law because you don't have the money for it. He knows
you probably want custody and may not tell you about the 50-50 default
custody taking place in many areas. You may think seeing a therapist is
a good idea until you realize what it really means. And no one will
tell you until too late.
AFFORDABLE
DIVORCE No one can promise you this, but in today's
economy you had better be prepared or you may not be able to afford to
get divorced at all. I can promise you this: Your divorce will
definitely cost you more if you do not prepare, if you do not learn.
This is the POWER of Information: A cost effective, fast divorce.
WHEN IN DOUBT, THINK IT OUT
Never have you needed a rational, calm mind more than now. Just when it
is most difficult, you need to develop calmness.
The people who get out without losing their money and minds are those
who take the time to read and research.
There is a wealth of information and tips and strategy
available for you. Use it!
The more you know, the better the divorce. The average client goes
through several attorneys, each with a new
retainer, and loses more money in one year than in any other time of
their life. Prepare so this doesn't happen to you.
If you know how to play the game, your divorce will be
sane and inexpensive. Here are 10 mistakes you need to know
about. This is part of smart planning - learning from the
mistakes of others. You will
survive and thrive if you plan. see
MISTAKES
YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE
...INTRODUCING...
CUSTODY
ISSUES. The Biggest Headache
In this no holds barred ebook,
you will find strategies and
techniques you can begin using right now.
-
Attorney information
-
Custody Evaluators
how to strategize effectively
-
What the courts look for
to maximize the quality of your divorce planning
-
Single biggest mistake
parents make to bring you the maximum amount of relevant
and
targeted leads
-
14 Key Behaviors
between parents
who do well and those that don't
-
How to make sure your child is
not bribed to turn
against you ensure that you are being treated fairly
-
Create a well-structured
and thought out custody plan right
from the start
.And that's just for starters!
Here it is.....all you need to know, all you must know
about custody. Click
Here! |
..For
Men, For Women
Because you each
need your own information
Strategy for Men
You need information tailored
for your needs. Because you are often targeted as a cash cow, learn how
not to get sucked into the vortex of a greedy attorney who knows how to
empty your wallet. Divorce lawyers love representing men because
you have the money. READ THIS TO FIND OUT HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF
Click
Here!
Strategy for Women
This may be all new territory
for you. Make sure your real needs are not overlooked. A sad but true
fact is that divorce attorneys often do as little as possible for
women. Sometimes they don't like to listen to you, they don't hear all
you have to say. Please, find out how not to be a doormat and present
yourself so you will be listened to. Click here!
ARE
YOU DIVORCING A NARCISSIST?
If you are divorcing
someone with a personality disorder such as
narcissism, or fighting for custody, or dealing with someone hiding
assets, you need excellent legal help - someone not afraid of
doing real discovery, refusing to be on the defensive and someone not
afraid of the judge.
And most important,
keep calm. Emotions are deadly in divorce. You must
learn to control your emotions no matter how bad things get.
The narcissist will
try to use the legal system to attack you. . go
behind the scenes in this ebook:
If you want a book
on divorce which is a guidebook and a story and how
to plan for a difficult divorce: Divorcing A
Narcissist: The Book
"This book is
a blessing. Organized,
thoughtful and full of pain and how to deal with it, I salute you for
telling us your story and analyzing the "divorce industry" as you call
it. You have saved my daughter thousands, she learned what to say in
court, and best of all she got custody."
|
Want more
information? YES - always answer YES!. In a divorce you can't
ever have too much information. MORE
|