Divorcing a narcissist is hardball divorce.
S/he will push every button, attack on every front and disregard the truth.
How Bad Can Your Spouse's Lawyer Make the Divorce?
Very, very bad.
Add a pit bull lawyer to a narcissist and you have trouble.
Learn what can happen to you.
I take you behind the scenes of a divorce in California that should never have gone to trial and went to the appeals court. This is my story. Don't let this happen to you.
Are you unsure of what divorcing a narcissist is really like?
Do you worry your spouse is going to lie to the court?
Do you wonder if you might lose everything tha matters including custody?
"The narcissist makes a divorce a battleground and you are the enemy."
Keep reading, because . . .
You're About to Uncover the REAL Reason
Why You're Going Around in Circles
Divorce is a huge industry. This book explores what that means to you.
Preparation is the best thing you can do to protect yourself. Learn what the legal system can do and how to protect yourself.
DIVORCE: THE REAL TRUTH, THE HIDDEN DANGER, Surviving Deception, Betrayal and Narcissism. by Ann Bradley, M.A.
This is my story of an out of control divorce that never should have happened and how I survived some of the worst things one human can do to another.
Divorce is not like death, we have no ceremonies to comfort those who have been wrenched from normal lives and everyday activities and thrown into a process so out of control it is a wonder we do not rebel. Except for the bone numbing fatigue, I suspect divorced men and women would storm the halls of lawyer's offices and change would happen in a New York second. But we are exhausted, told to move on because the lawyers want new retainers, new cases, and new faces. They are as tired of our fighting as we are, even when the money is good.
This is not a do-it-yourself book. It is a guide to who and what really controls the divorce process and what you can do to stop them from taking away your right to divorce with dignity. It is also my story because divorce is based on stories and I learned my lessons from my own divorce in Silicon Valley.
I use the lawyers and the lessons as a foundation for this book. When I filed I had no idea my spouse was hiding income and had been for years. We began negotiating (he said, "I have papers I want kept out of court"), but this ended when his attorney called me and said. "I don't like the way you are telling me to run this case" although it was my husband who wanted to keep him in the background.
Kick a dog long enough and he gets angry. Lie to your spouse, cheat her out of money, verbally abuse her and eventually she will say, "Enough."
Add the lawyers saying, "get over it, let it go, it's only money" and people will get very very angry. Show me a lawyer that will let you not pay his bill and see if they think "it's only money." Tell him to get on with his life and see him raise up in horror and say, "I have spent all this time on your case, you WILL pay me."
But this isn't only money, it is dignity, children, houses, and photo albums. It isn't only a woman's problem, it is a man's problem. Divorce is everyone's problem.
"I'll hit her over the head with a 2x4" That was my introduction to Palo Alto
divorce attorney, Jeff Kaufman. Then he defrauded the court. He wasn't expecting one thing: me.
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Survive Dysfunctional Divorce with REAL Stories
From Ground Zero of Divorce!
My Divorce Went To Trial and the Court of Appeals
The divorce industry is a $40 billion industry and divorce lawyers and others make their money by prolonging the process ("churning the case"), increasing hostilities, and hiring "experts" who know more about taking your money than anything else.
Women and Divorce
Many women from this generation are socialized to be "nice". Part of this socialization means that you trust what people tell you, look out for others before yourself, and give when asked. You are naive. The attorneys know this and so does your spouse.
What Do You Know?
Are you vulnerable to lies? Do you know what tactics lawyers use? Do you know what the "mommy tax" is? Is your divorce high conflictor stalking through the legal system? Why do narcissists keep on fighting? Why did a Professor of Psychology write a book called Whores of The Court' and what does this have to do with your divorce?
"I was ripe for attack in the divorce process. Put this together with a narcissist and his narcissistic lawyer and the war was on. I survived by wearing a metaphorical badge called "Target". I wore this to remind myself I really was targeted and not insane.
"Although my husband had told me hid assets and I had the evidence, we ended up at trial. His lawyer was a typical "scorched earth policy" divorce attorney. Dirty tactics in divorce? You bet."
MEN and DIVORCE
I've been accused of being against men. Nothing is further from the truth. I am against abuse. I have male friends and clients who have chilling stories, horrifying tales. I have written about them in my newsletter, I have talked to them on the phone and I want men to be as aware as any woman of what landmines lie ahead in divorce. Men or women, both are vulnerable to attorneys that manipulate emotions to increase fees. Remember, a quick divorce is not income producing. And when they run through your money, you may have nothing left: not even your children.
An attorney who was himself getting divorced (male) bought my book and said, "I can relate to your story Ann. It's me all over - the fraud, the lack of funds, the depth of the attacks and the attorneys that made it worse."
Divorcing a narcissist makes every problem worse.
Their sense of entitlement is endless and you will be maligned and disparaged. In their mind, you are worthless and deserve nothing.
"The narcissist makes a divorce a battleground and you are the enemy."
My experience, intellect and education were useless in this fight. They were a liability. Good girls from private Quaker schools and Ivy colleges are not trained for combat. I had to learn that the name of the game is "indifference, winning and dirty tactics."
If I could have read a story like this, I would not have wasted time, "explaining, asking, telling."
IF I KNEW NOW WHAT I KNEW THEN I WOULD DO IT DIFFERENTLY. READ THIS SO YOU DON'T EVER HAVE TO SAY THAT!
DIVORCE :THE REAL TRUTH, THE HIDDEN DANGER, Surviving, Deception, Betrayal and Narcissism, will show you, tell you and explain divorce as you may not know it.
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The divorce dance is macabre. Behind the scenes you will see why. With a hostile attorney on the other side and an incompetent or greedy one on your side, prepare for a devastating experience if you are divorcing a narcissist wo wants to punish you at all costs.