return to divorceandlawyers.com
Laura Johnson provides a basic overview of dirty tricks from the legal trade. She's been a paralegal and seen it from the inside.
Divorce Schemes & Power Games
Divorce can be a dirty business when in the hands of lawyers who play power games to gain an unfair advantage over the other side.
The same applies for angry, vindictive soon-to-be ex-spouses who have a "win at all costs" attitude. If this happens in your divorce, there are few things that you can do to control the other side, but there are several things you can do to prepare and manage the divorce.The first thing to do is recognize a scheme and power
play when you see it. The second thing is to not lose
your cool and try to fight fire with fire. It will only
cause things to escalate and your entire family will
suffer. The final step is to think ahead and plan positive
steps to counter your spouse's power game. Get
outside help if necessary.The following list has descriptions and examples of
some of those nasty tricks lawyers and their clients will
sometimes pull. If your lawyer recommends that you
do this, he or she is setting you up to take unfair
advantage of your soon-to-be ex-spouse. If you do
these things, don't be surprised if your actions come
back to haunt you after the divorce!Take the money out of jointly held bank accounts,
put it all into an account in your name alone and
don't tell your spouse about it beforehand. Then
let your spouse handle the problems associated
with covering the bounced checks. This causes
the most confusion and distress if your spouse
usually writes the checks to pay the household
bills.Use credit cards to purchase and stock up on
personal items or make large purchases. Make
sure to use the cards for which your spouse is the
primary cardholder. This is especially effective at
the beginning or near the end of a divorce. One
lawyer actually told her client to go out the day
before the settlement hearing and use her
husband's credit cards to purchase all the items
she needed to set up her new household. Her
husband would then be stuck with the bills
because he had agreed to be responsible for the
debt on his credit card as of the day of the
divorce, which he didn't know contained the
charges made by his wife.If you have moved out of the family home and
are the primary source of income for the family,
refuse to pay any household bills or send any
support until you are forced to do it by the court.
This is one of the steps in a routine called "Starve
Out The Other Spouse". The goal is to get the
other spouse in a financial position where he or
she, out of desperation, will accept an unfair
settlement.If your spouse doesn't have an income
withholding order, wait until the latest possible
day to pay support money, even if you've got the
money to send. In some states support doesn't
become delinquent until it's 30 days past due and
your spouse can't do anything to you until the
31st day. Never mind that your spouse just might
need the money to pay bills or buy things for the
children.Petition the court for primary custody of your
children when you will actually agree to a joint
custody or visitation arrangement. The real
purpose for the request is to strike fear into the
heart of your spouse and use it as a club to get
your spouse to give up on something else, usually
a financial issue.Refuse to speak with your spouse about anything,
including arrangements for him or her to have
parenting time with your children. This falls into
the category of a tactic used by some lawyers to
create conflict, create issues that don't need to
exist, increase legal fees and wear the other side
down. It can also cause a serious break in
parent-child ties if the noncustodial parent
doesn't get to see the children because he or she
can't set up any parenting time.File a bogus petition to have your spouse
excluded from the family home under your
state's protection from abuse laws.These are just a few of the sneaky things that can and
have happened in divorces. They are sometimes
successful, but are very destructive to any meaningful
and fair settlement discussions. In addition, the
residual hard-feelings and bitterness they can leave
after the divorce could hamper you and your
ex-spouse's ability to effectively co-parent your
children. What's more, they often lead to post-divorce
legal proceedings costing additional and unnecessary
legal fees which most recently divorced people can ill
afford.Getting a divorce is really just a risk/reward type of
thing for some people. Is the risk and potential loss if
you get caught by your dirty tricks worth any potential
benefit, financial or otherwise, that you might get if you
win the game? Think about it? Are you really the
winner -- or are the lawyers the real winners?
Disclaimer
The author and publisher of this article have done their
best to give you useful and accurate information. This
article does not replace the advice you should get from
a lawyer, accountant or other professional if the
content of the article involves an issue you are facing.
Divorce laws vary from state-to-state and change from
time-to-time. In addition, it is a very fact-specific area
of the law, meaning that the particular facts of your
marriage and divorce, as well as other external factors
may determine how the law is applied in your situation.
Always consult with a qualified professional before
making any decisions about the issues described in this
article. Thank you.
