The information you need for the divorce you want.
Therapists, custody evaluations, legal system, hiring a lawyer, co-parenting, fraud
If you can't afford a lawyer, are you sure you can afford a divorce?
Or maybe you have money but your spouse is using starve and freeze. Are you prepared?
You planned the wedding; the divorce needs more planning. Who thinks about divorce planners? Probably not you. Maybe you don't need a planner, but you do need planning.
Getting a divorce is like a game of chess. If you know the game better than your opponent and are prepared to think ahead, you will probably win.
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Why does this happen? Because people trust their attorney - in spite of the fact nothing is getting done. In spite of the fact that their attorney never told them how complex a bad divorce can be, or they are about to lose custody, or the house, or all the savings, they continue to make excuses and rationalize their behavior: "I can't fire him, I will never get anyone else." (Your attorney knows this one and is counting on it.) How about, "I've already spent so much, I might as well stay." This rationalization is why the house always wins in Vegas - because the money lost is somehow thought to magically make the future better. It changes nothing - not the percentages of winning on the next roll of the dice or the chance your attorney will now do better for you.
| Facts About Divorce KEEP CALM. Emotions are deadly in divorce. Control your emotions no matter how bad things get. Your attorney is your friend as long as you
don't annoy him or her.
Unfortunate, but true. The more you know, the less expensive your
divorce will be. You may think your attorney
won't tell your secrets - and
it is unethical to do so - but it happens. Divorcing a narcissist takes special
preparation. Are you ready?
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Struggling
and Confused? Divorce is tiring, expensive and no one wants to spend all their time fighting. But it happens. The dirty tricks played in the legal system cost you money. I know because I've been through it, won, wrote a book about it and have been consulting for 6 years with people going through bad divorces. I work with attorneys and clients just like you. I also pull together information that others have written so you can learn from their experiences. YOU DON'T HAVE TO REINVENT THE WHEEL. If the divorce is difficult you need to understand why the courts make bad decisions, why your attorney isn't so helpful and what to do about support issues. Do you know what to do if your attorney threatens to quit the night before a trial? (Fight back somehow because he can't do this. It's unethical. Get a continuance if you can.) This is just one example of how attorneys use their knowledge to manipulate the situation to their advantage. If you don't know what can be done, anything WILL be done. Read what this attorney has to say about corruption in family courts: CUSTODY QUESTIONS So you want to know what to do if your lawyer isn't working on your case? Or wants more money and you don't have any but your spouse does? Who should move first and does it matter. Someone has a lover - does it matter? Take a look at recent keyword search terms used to find this site: Can I divorce with no money? How can I keep custody if s/he lies? Suppose my lawyer is weak and the other is strong? Can I represent myself? He had an affair, can I get custody on that? What are lawyer divorce tricks? My ex is a narcissist, will I be victimized more in court by him? Dirty divorce tricks for men - what are they? I have a sociopathic spouse and a bad lawyer. Divorce gone bad. Narcissistic women and divorce. This is in a 2 hour time frame. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Yes, the answers are out there. Yes, you should have begun planning BEFORE you announced you wanted a divorce. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Men and Women:
Different as Always Men.
Lawyers love you because they think you
have more money than women and
know you can be easily be egged on to keep the case going. "You're not
going to let her get away with that,
are you?" is a question that energizes your anger
and depletes your bank balance. Watch out. Your anger and need for
revenge can be very expensive and the attorney knows it.
 Maybe
there is a narcissist involved or your attorney isn't helpful or you
are facing a custody battle - every situation is different but has one
element shared by all: the best divorce is a planned divorce. Maybe you
can plan with your spouse and that is the best of all. But if you can't
- and most can't - the critical thing most people don't understand is
the role that planning plays.You need to do this behind the scenes and do it quietly if you have a difficult divorce. The legal system - the revenge needs of a spouse - or the inability of an attorney to comprehend the subtle psychlogical tricks a spouse - can play can be very harmful.
Even if you are in the middle of a divorce you can still stop and think about what you are doing and learn more and plan strategy and tactics. Here are some clues of a difficult divorce:
PUTTING IT IN PERSPECTIVE: Behind the scenes of a divorce You want out of the misery. You are sleeping in the guest room, or your partner is. You think he's hiding money or you think she's having an affair. Every conversation turns into a fight. You wake up in misery and go to sleep in misery. The rest of your life looks dismal. She gains weight and he starts drinking. If you are like most couples, at this point you are about to make some marriage and family therapist some money. She'll listen to the same story she's heard a thousand times and she knows she's just a pit stop on the way to divorce court. I'm not going to tell you not to see the therapist - go ahead and try. But if the writing is on the wall, I am going to tell you to start reading what it says. Most women initiate the counseling sessions. Hope springs eternal and women seem to think "Oh, if we could only talk about this, everything will be ok." It is this same unrealistic, fairy tale optimism that ends up making them very, very miserable in divorce court. What has happened over the last decade in divorce is less than ethical. In fact, it is downright disgusting. Power and control and manipulation are the keywords. Lives are ruined. If you think, "It couldn't happen to me," you are already at risk. If you think, "How bad could things be?" you are asleep and a nightmare is about to hit you. Here's an example of how bad it can get: Today I listened to some attorneys discussing dirty divorce tricks. Here's one: slowly putting drugs in your spouse's food so a hair follicle test will test positive. Presto chango, the victim loses everything. Can't happen? Just keep on thinking that and you might be the next victim. Your naivete can and will hurt you. Maybe it won't be drugs in your food, but it could be slowly moving funds out of the joint accounts in order to financially marginalize a spouse and then file for divorce knowing she can't hire an attorney. It's witching hour: do you know where your money is? Did it just zip off through the electrons to an offshore account? Today, both women AND men are being told to make false domestic violence claims. Forget the fact it is illegal, this is morally reprehensible. The one convicted loses custody and money and the lawyers know it. Why has the face of divorce changed? Many reasons and they don't all matter - but this one does: the word is out: there is money, big, big, money to be made in the divorce field. Since the cap on personal injury awards many personal injury attorneys have been switching to family law. The hourly rate of a divorce attorney is about twice that of most civil attorneys. If you want out of a bad marriage, you deserve out. But not so that it means you lose everything and spend thousands doing so. Women - remember this: you will have a harder time getting an attorney than your spouse does. Most attorneys know that most women don't control the family finances. That's a red flag which means they will have to motion the court for attorney fees with no guarantee they'll get it. This is the type of information you need to know to begin planning your divorce. Planning, information and goal setting are the miracle three that will help you survive a divorce in today's dog eat dog world of divorce. Men have it a bit easier - but not always. They have to know what a revengeful spouse might do if caught in an affair or what a bitter female lawyer or judge might do to them. The ONLY way to stop a train wreck of a divorce is to not engage in one. But if the other side plays dirty, the playing field isn't level. Why should you lose the kids because he puts drugs in your food? Why should you lose the right to see your kids because she made a phony call to the police? DON'T DO THESE THINGS. Take control of the divorce and play fair. The only way to take control is through information - if you don't know what is possible, you don't know what can happen. To learn more, much more, about how to plan and prepare for a divorce in today's world, and to see what kind of information your spouse is getting to win the divorce war, LEARN WHAT OTHERS KNOW AND WANT TO TEACH YOU SO YOU DON'T SUFFER NEEDLESSLY.
KNOW YOUR ENEMY
If you don't know where you are
going, any
road will take you there. But learn the lay of the land and you just
might land on your feet instead of being instant roadkill on the
divorce highway.
The
POWER of Information: A cost effective, fast divorce. Never have you needed a rational, calm mind more than now. Just when it is most difficult, you need to develop calmness. The people who get out without losing their money and minds are those who take the time to read and research. There is a wealth of information and tips and strategy available for you. Use it! The more you know, the better the divorce. The average client goes through several attorneys, each with a new retainer, and loses more money in one year than in any other time of their life. Prepare so this doesn't happen to you. If you know how to play the game, your divorce
will be
sane and inexpensive. Here are 10 mistakes you need to know
about. This is part of smart planning - learning from the
mistakes of others. You will
survive and thrive if you plan. see
CUSTODY
ISSUES. The Biggest Headache In
this no holds barred ebook,
you will find strategies and
techniques you can begin using right now.
..For
Men, For Women
and here: DIVORCE HELP..CLICK HERE |
The
Big Secret No Attorney
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MUST UNDERSTAND THE DIVORCE PROCESS
Why?Because information means
Strategy for Women Make sure your real needs are not overlooked. A sad but true fact is; divorce attorneys often do as little as possible for women. Sometimes they don't like to listen to you, they don't hear all you have to say Find out how not to be a doormat and present yourself so you will be listened to. CLICK HERE |